Between is the story of my time in between the losses of two best friends. “Fractured Headlights” begins in the immediate aftermath of a breakup and the feelings of the moment. “Ghosts and Trauma and Shit” then speaks to a deeper, delayed reaction and the effects of mental health trauma. “A Happy Song” is a song of hoping and coping, trying to move on and look back with joy and partial successes. “Little Streams” is the next stage in this journey, more existential and yet also more personal as the loss expands beyond romantic love. A song written both for and from mothers and partners. “Between” attempts to sum up this journey, or, more accurately, comments on the impossible nature of condensing this multiplicity of emotion. The EP, like this final song, centers on the importance of understanding and accepting the liminal times in life and persevering.
-
Driving along the rusted plains
Gotta get away
Started in heaven now I’m here
Don’t know what to say
The interstate has a face
Doesn’t have a name
Can’t even find myself
’Cause I’m not the sameSo I hit the wheel upside the head
And I beg and I burn and I fly instead
The road doesn’t heed my cries
It knows all that matters is the pain and lies
And all I see
Ahead of me
Is fractured headlights
Oh oh
Fractured headlightsJust one place I want to go
But it’s not the same
Wish it was her fault
But I’m to blameI can’t look at the passenger seat
Still feel her touch
Whirlpool inside my brain
I think too muchSo I hit the wheel upside the head
And I beg and I burn and I fly instead
The road doesn’t heed my cries
It knows all that matters is the pain and lies
And all I see
Ahead of me
Is fractured headlights
Oh oh
Fractured headlightsTasting salty streaks
I’ve waited weeks
For youCan’t believe I still have tears
I’ve waited years
For youI don’t want to wait
Anymore
It hurts me to the core
You—u
I adore (I adore)
But I can’t see you anymore
Through the fractured headlightsSo I hit the wheel upside the head
And I beg and I burn and I fly instead
The road doesn’t heed my cries
It knows all that matters is the pain and lies
And all I see
Ahead of me
Is fractured headlights
Those fractured headlights -
Walking barefoot down the road in 95 degree heat
The pain under my toes, masochism from the street
This town’s so fucking perfect, I can’t take it anymore
I break down just off the sidewalk halfway to the corner storeI’m the devil on my shoulder, the angel wandered off
If life was a switch, I probably would’ve turned it off
The ghosts in the courtyard cheer when I sing off key, that’s okay
’Cause no one hates me more than meI’m laying in my bed thinking how I should escape
The tests and papers pile up but I know they all can wait
The climbing rope is tempting, I know to tie the knot
I’d marry it right now but this damn room’s too short to dropI’m laying on the floor gasping for each breath through tears
I don’t deserve the bed, I’ve confirmed my own worst fears
I’m not tired of this world but I hate this feeling more
Fuck my brain and heart and lungs, I don’t want them anymoreI’m the devil on my shoulder, the angel wandered off
If life was a switch, I probably would’ve turned it off
The ghosts in the courtyard cheer when I sing off key, that’s okay
’Cause no one hates me more than meEvery week another hour realizing
All the shit I had been disguising
As me
But when there’s nothing left
And I haven’t answered any texts
When I’m afraid all my friends hate me or are hurt
I find comfort in thatI’m the devil on my shoulder, the angel wandered off
If life was a switch, I probably would’ve turned it off
The ghosts in the courtyard cheer when I sing off key, that’s okay
The ghosts in the courtyard cheer when I sing off key, that’s okay
The ghosts in the courtyard cheer when I sing off key, that’s okay’Cause no one hates me more than me
-
I just wanna talk about your love
I just wanna sing and smile and cover
All the pain
’Cause this is a happy songI remember dancing in the rain
I remember sunsets playing Here Comes the Sun
Watching the sun go downOur love was like fire in the night
Bringing warmth and bringing light
Together where we belonged
Singing our happy song
Do do do doI see us driving towards the stars
I can see the steam on the car windows
While holding you in my armsI can feel your fingers tied to mine
I feel your breath against my spine
Givin’ me shivers
You’re everything I needOur love was like fire in the night
Bringing warmth and bringing light
Together where we belonged
Singing our happy songWhen I lose faith I just recall
My favorite memory of all
It’s just a smile
Your smileIt gave me peace and hope
Kept me safe when up a rope
To come back to you
Always back to youOur love was like fire in the night
Bringing warmth and bringing light
Together where we belonged
Singing our happy song -
When I wander through the mountains, know you’re on my mind
I’ve reached the peaks and crossed the valleys never knowing what I’ll find
I have found magic in how the stone keeps me alive
By holding Death just within reach, he’s climbing by my sideThough I may fall, so may we all
So if someday too far away I roam
Know the trees and little streams
Will care for me
’Til I come homeAcross the world there’s a city where you dance and live and shine
And though I’d give it all to be there, you’re all that’s there that’s mine
Out in the forests and the ranges, I belong to the sky
The earth my soul releases, the birds teach me to flyThough I may fall, so may we all
So if someday too far away I roam
Know the trees and little streams
Will care for me
’Til I come homeWhen I wander through the mountains, know you’re on my mind
’Til I come home -
How to put words to the feelings of years
How to capture the yearnings and life-draining tears
All of our hopes and dreams
Held together by silence and stringTying up friendships then cutting them loose
Despite all our wins we had so much to lose
I know where the end began
But in the beginning… damnIt was the moments between kisses
Looking in your eyes
The moments between kisses
Were when I realizedI don’t know what to do
When all I want is youHow do I live my old life
After I’ve seen
The moments in betweenOur memories are like wistful balloons
Let go by impatience and missed just as soon
Off to somewhere unknown
To be kept safe until we come homeEncounters are rare and more rarely planned
Staggered avoidance makes the love hard to stand
But this pain is not a sin
Just penance and growth to understand where we’ve beenIt’s a moment between kisses
Not when our love dies
These moments between kisses
Are when I realizeI don’t know what to do
When all I want is youHow do I live my own life
After I’ve seen
The moments in betweenBetween the air and the lake there’s a tree
Facing the sunset that’s following me
Sitting on our branch alone
I’ll keep playing ’til my heart’s overthrownSitting on branches (the moments in between)
Hope’s sitting on branches (the moments in between)
Sitting on branches (our moments…)
Sitting on branches